September 19, 2015

Why I am now a conossuire of porn

By Edith Day In Blog, Housewifey Diaries

So ladies and gentlemen recently I went to Mexico and while vacationing I stumbled upon some porn. I have spent the better part of my life adamantly against porn…everything from movies to magazines. I was such a prude and it makes me feel like an intruder into something I am not supposed to see. I still feel that. I certainly do not want other people watching me have sex so why in the hell do it?

The magazines were worse for me as a early 20 something year old mainly because, well I felt threatened. Beautiful girls….competition. The very idea that my husband could become aroused by looking at another woman made me very angry.  Probably somewhere deep down after all these years I still am. Then the whole thought, and yes I think way too much through every angle, of him jacking off took me into further dismay. Not cool.

Oddly, though we found ourselves in a beautiful place with a week to do nothing but enjoy one another and there I was watching porn essentially for the first time. It was horrible. The first show if you could call it that was of barely legal teen in a dorm room giving each other blow jobs and running in the halls jumping into baby swimming pool that they had filled with water and baby oil….just GROSS. The next and the next, well you get the picture.

My husband found this funny and as I watched I would start to critique the set design or the lighting or the casting or the whatever. Somehow subconsciously by dissecting it I could watch. Watching people fucking is still disturbing though…watching anything fucking is like watching them shitting or vomiting or bleeding… you are not supposed to be there, and if you are you feel compelled to help or turn away or God forbid participate in some way. Like I guess that’s the primal thing about porn. Men are different from women….it’s testosterone driven.

Speaking of Testosterone…. as I went into menopause I was given lots of that and I attribute it to my brain flowing sexually and fluidly without much pause. Good for that in my late years and better still for my sweet spouse! Interest in this new form of sexuality during that week became a bit of an obsession and although I did not have much to choose from we decided that after we returned we would..I would be OK if from time to time porn could be what my husband calls “The Ambiance.” He was delighted that I was open after all these years to watch people fucking and sucking. Interesting….the male, no..the testosterone driven brain.

As I returned I decided that if I was going to watch people fucking…the entire process was going to be the best porn possible. It has now been  a few months and after daily researching the internet I have found and collected what I artistically believe is the best of what this is. My husband, slightly amused by my new obsession has teased me about watching porn and thinks it’s funny that I have gone into the rabbit hole to research this. You know they say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince…it’s not been easy. Most of this stuff is unbearable…some of this stuff concerns me about the human psyche.

While in college, I became obsessed with sexually deviant behavior. So much so that as a pre-law major I minored in that. My studies led me to weirdness not normal sexual response. You know people that fuck animals and stick toys in their asses. Those conversations were what we discussed. Yes, there was the occasional hetero female that had “turned into a lesbian.” Mainly though it was the weird stuff. It is the university that should be ashamed….there should have been at least a tiny bit of focus on the study of porn, and how and  why it has made its way into our society. Truthfully, sex makes the world go round both literally and figuratively.

Did I mention 50 Shades of Gray? No?….uhhum ok…. we’ll the truth is there’s no difference between writing sex and watching it. So call me guilty. I have read sex for years, studied it so much I landed it as part of my degree. In painting class I only wanted to paint naked women. I have spent years in search of the best nude photography to paint from..I’ve written sex scenes and even this blog. Who knew? I have been secretly invested in porn my whole life and just did not want to fess up! It was not until I decided to allow the visual of porn, as in people fucking in live motion, that I realized that and what an awakening!

I have found that not only have I discovered the best porn…yes, indeedy (hands clasped together)…. the lights and sets and staff are all perfect in my collections, and I am aroused by “The Ambiance.” Sex makes the world go round… I said that already. It does though, and a testosterone brain sees and feels and processes human sexuality differently. I like my brain with the male hormones..he he, she’s less judgmental and more inquisitive. The realization that I would be aroused by a woman was not something I expected. Women masturbating…a turn on. Erect penises… a turn on. Watching someone suck a penis…I am still critiquing that still… apparently I know how to do that better than what I see! LOL   Watching four beautiful women lick and suck on each other…a turn on. Penetration is a must ….so are stockings! SHOCKER… Watching women squirt… a turn on. Watching a woman with two men…a turn on. Watching men come… not a turn on. It goes on and on and on and on….. Understanding that has opened up a whole new world and that’s a subject for many posts to come!

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